If it’s so important, how can we at least try to find inner peace? A friend shared the following quote. I don’t know who the author is but I think it provides a powerful message for us all. It goes something like this:
“I’m slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything. It won’t make people suddenly love and respect me. It won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better to just let things be. Let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase for answers. Don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you; instead, centre it on what’s happening inside you. Work on yourself and your inner peace.”
What a great advice! Far too often, we get upset with things that don’t really matter in the end. How many times have we gotten into a fight with loved ones over something silly, only to regret it soon after? How many times have we pressed our kids for answers over something trivial? All these and more would slowly damage our ability to create inner peace.
In any relationship, there’s bound to be conflicts no matter how much we try to avoid it. At work, a stressed-out colleague may unintentionally hurt our feelings. Back home, an angry outburst may severely reverse the good work we’ve done to nurture a loving family. When conflicts happen, both parties would usually try to justify their stand and protect their positions. But is it worth it? Which is better — losing a battle or to win the war?
The same is also true in our family life. There will be plenty of arguments and disagreements between couples themselves and among the children. In some cases, abusive words or insults would be freely thrown. In a moment of rage, love can be forgotten and hearts, broken. Gaps between family members start to widen and happiness is gone.
We must always remind ourselves not to fall into this trap. Yes, it’s satisfying to win an argument and ravage the other side, but we must understand that ultimately, we’re also the loser. A better strategy is to look internally to see if there are opportunities for us to control ourselves and not react to external stimulation. At the same time, learn to deflect any external provocation even if it’s coming from our own family.
Once we can master this art, our hearts will be healthy and strong always. A healthy heart will not be easily upset when things don’t go its way. Instead, it has the strength to “kill them with kindness.” Why not make this a habit? Just imagine the possibilities and happiness when we’re able to find that elusive inner peace.